


In tenebris arborum

by knightbrace



Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Slash, Religious Conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightbrace/pseuds/knightbrace
Summary: ‘’Do you believe in the man-blood God?’’In Squirrel’s litany of questions and endless commentary, this is the first sentence that makes Gawain stiffen.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	In tenebris arborum

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: contains discussion of religious topics.

‘’Do you believe in the man-blood God?’’

In Squirrel’s litany of questions and endless commentary, this is the first sentence that makes Gawain stiffen. He tries not to show it. He forces himself to relax, and slowly and carefully he turns his gaze to Lancelot, who, like himself, is seated leaning against a tree.

Even though Lancelot has forsaken the ominous hood, his face remains unreadable, and with his head turned down, it’s hard to guess what he’s thinking.

Gawain has seen Lancelot kneel and pray against his crossed hands in the early hours of the morning when he thinks he and Squirrel are asleep. He hates it, thinks that it is a remnant of the monk’s brutal past and upbringing. Still, he hasn’t dared to approach the subject - he knows also that it can’t be anything else but a pitfall of sore memories.

Silence follows Squirrel’s question, and just as Gawain’s about to propose a change in subject Lancelot’s quiet but steady voice breaks the hush.

‘’There was a woman in Gramaire.’’

The oddity of the sentence is so sudden that it takes a while for Gawain to register what he said. He stays silent though - he knows that Lancelot needs time in order to speak his thoughts. With only Goliath as company for years he is not used to anything like this. Squirrel, though perceptive, has no such ideas.

‘’And? What does that have to do with anything?’’ His voice is shrill, as always, and it makes Gawain cringe a little. Lancelot simply lets a small smile relax his face.

‘’When the paladins took over Gramaire, there was a local woman who spoke out against them. She was foolish to do so and they burned her for it. She shouted in the marketplace whenever the paladins persecuted the locals, held speeches in broad daylight. The things she said…’’

Lancelot’s voice wavers and his gaze is distant and, still, painfully unreadable. His brows crease.

‘’She spoke of the Lord. How the paladins were twisting their Lord’s message into a disgusting form and how they themselves were doing the work of the devil. She tried to hide some of the Fay in her house from the slaughter but it was no use against m-’’

Lancelot chokes on his own words and his face seems as blank as paper. It was a habit Gawain had taken notice on. Whenever he was seemingly overcome by emotions, good or bad, he closed himself from the world and let nothing slip past the walls of his mind.

It was no wonder in this situation - it was not hard to complete the disrupted sentence.

‘’Even when she was dragged on the pyre she spoke of Lord’s mercy, forgiveness and… love. She didn’t die with the calmness of the martyrs but still she faced her end praying for the world she was leaving and for those who murdered her.’’

Gawain shuffles closer to the man and tries to provide support by doing it. He knows the memories are hard to bear. Squirrel has the same idea, though more boldly he attaches himself to the monk’s side. After a short pause Lancelot continues.

‘’The more I think of my past and the paladins’ teachings, the more I realize that they have to be wrong.’’

There is a sense of relief in the words. Gawain hides his triumphant smile. Internally he rejoices that Lancelot has finally, after months of living with Fay, said out loud the thoughts Gawain has painstakingly been trying to integrate into the monk’s worldview.

‘’To answer your question, Percival, I don’t think that the God of the Paladins is a God worthy of worship. But…’’

Lancelot lowers his gaze to gently look into Squirrel’s eyes.

‘’The God that woman in Gramaire? I don’t think I can say the same of Him.’’

Gawain finally relaxes completely and closes his eyes. It’s not the total rejection of the man-blood ideas that he not-so-secretly hopes for, but it feels like a truce. A truce between the Fay that Lancelot is, and the strictly religious upbringing that he has endured.

As long as Lancelot learns to love himself and those around him, he is content.

And if Lancelot one day was to look at him with a more deep meaning in his eyes, there would be nothing in the world that could make him even more so.

**Author's Note:**

> (In my head Lancelot adapts a bit of a syncretic worldview that has room for both the man-blood God and the Hidden.)


End file.
